Sharpie on Skin

Mother always warned me

of the repercussions of tattoos

and how they would permanently define someone.

There is something beautiful

about the way someone chooses to

coordinate their skin like

pulling constellations out of the sky

and explaining them one line at a time.

Mother never warned me

of how a boy could sweep you

off the ground,

and tumble you into the deep

epiphany of love

and how it drenches your skin,

sinking in without mercy.

She never warned me that love

can be as permanent as a tattoo

but might lose its meaning. 

My chest wears caution tape

like a crime scene,

and you go on pulling stars out of the

big night sky,

while I burn out

slow and steady.

Stick and Poke

See,

I came to you

thinking I was helpless

and you reminded me of all

of the reasons

I deserve someone like you.

And so I built mountains

next to the rivers

that tried to bend me over. 

I took me four hours to take your

hand,

and four years to let go of it. 

Listen,

you can’t build a person

like Legos,

like a child,

and decide they are yours to destroy.

My Neighbor’s Lawn

You know I’m the worst,

when it comes to doing things right,

so I left you in the way

I let go of things

that crack like melting ice.

The pedals are falling

and the grass is blooming without me.

Ocean Floor.

I need someone deeper than the ocean, who finds interest in my depth as much as my surface. Everything that I form into when life takes volume. Hoping that who I become is becoming to you.

Cause and Effect

There’s no room for a big heart in a small town and that’s why we are all leaving or sinking. So we drown each other in expectations and tests to compare how others are treating. Cause and effect, the weather changes like the dialect. Storms are always brewing inside the calmness and reassurance that we all interact with the same reasoning.

Spinning

My mind

and the Earth

tilt on the same axis.

I don’t always spin the same,

and sometimes I wobble through

the times when the sun

and the moon shine. 

Like the planets I still keep going

regardless of the current time

and placement of how

my stars align.  

The Illusion of Separation

I had a dream that the ocean grew tall

and took away everything I ever loved.

Longing for the current of your hands

to obsess over my skin

and create enough erosion

so that my scars are no longer my pain. 

Sea shells asked me to marry

the shore and the pearl

took words out of my mouth like I never had a choice,

or a chance. 

My legs grew into one

was it a blessing or a curse,

I thought I would never know. 

I swam into the darkness,

with nothing to lose

but maybe a little more of myself…

and I found in the depth of the terror,

something beautiful once blossomed there. 

The sun beamed into the darkness

and my body floated to the surface,

I saw beauty in the sunset and recognized

that the scars of the earth

have always been romanticized. 

The storm of mother nature has touched me in ways

that all of my acquaintances have changed me. 

Eyes are clouds

and hands are lightning,

corrupting everything that stands still. 

Sundown

I dreamed of freckles on my skin

and me under yours. 

I am not angry at you

just on how we may end up.

You know, I was never anything special

to anyone, I didn’t last?

I could tear my walls down,

or you could climb them for me, just this once.

Taking Advantage

You said my skin was soft,

and my lips kept you calm

like the pillows that carried your

heavy thoughts into the clouds

to take you into a dream.

My softness turned into something vulnerable

as if my kindness was a sign that

I was winning a battle inside

that would fall to its knees for you.

Every inch of my skin

was crawling with self doubt

and how anyone could love me

like you did,

like your hands that took hold of

a soul that wasn’t yours,

but maybe there was no love

in someone who couldn’t see

that my insides were as hard as bone

and the cold wind of every person

who ever hurt me was lingering

in the lightning of my eyes.

The waters evaporated

as the fire caressed my cheek

turning to invisible salt, 

only hoping you wouldn’t realize

my softness couldn’t save me

or you. 

Ceiling Gods

I began searching for

signs, in the images textured

on the ceiling like constellations

that get me lost in the sky. 

Over and over my

bedroom told tales

of love and hate,

and how I’ve become my name.

Ive been staring at the

same signs for 20 years,

and I can never begin

to wrap my head around

what the constant spinning could

tell me. 

The edge of the bed

is like tip-toeing away

from people like you,

who have made me toxic

in the best and worst ways. 

The foundation has

painted the same lines

for ever since I can remember,

and we still changed.